Your Next Step Toward a Better Life and Marriage
What holds you back from making changes in your life? Is it the fear of failure? The lack of energy and motivation that accompanies an extended period of feeling let down or overwhelmed? Or is it the idea that for some reason you have earned your current lot in life, and you don’t deserve anything better than what you already have? Each of these scenarios can leave us feeling discouraged and paralyzed. But how do we push past the heavy burden that is our present reality, and reach for something bigger and better?
It takes baby steps. Let’s be honest, in life there is no quick-fix. In order to see lasting change within ourselves and our situations we have to put the work in, and we have to acknowledge that it will take time. As much as we would love for there to be a pill that we could take that would boost our self-worth, or a book we could read that simply by reading it we could fix our broken marriage; but unfortunately change requires more than just insight into the root of the problem.
Understanding that the source of our unhealthy weight is poor diet and lack of exercise doesn’t actually fix the problem. We not only need to understand the root of the issue, but we must also do something about it. Knowing that the lack of closeness in our marriage is the direct result of hurt feelings from long ago that never were tended to doesn’t allow us to begin to move closer to our spouse. We have to address the problem directly, and take action to move toward a resolution.
If you are feeling stuck in some area of your life right now I want you to stop and consider several aspects of the situation. Do you know how you got to where you are? Do you know where you would like to be? What is the tiniest step you could make in that direction? Marathon runners don’t start out running 26.22 miles right off the couch. They don’t even start with a 5K. They start by putting one foot in front of the other and moving in the direction of the finish line. As many of us begin a new season of life here at the start of a new school year, ask yourself what your next step is. What action can you take today that puts you inches, not miles, closer to the goal you have for your life and/or your relationship…and take it.
Maybe that is reaching out for your spouse’s hand as you lay next to each other silently in bed. Maybe it is deciding to begin to let go of the tally list you have been keeping between you and your partner regarding who owes who most. Or maybe it is changing up your routine in the evening to allow yourself the time to do something you value, and not just fill your time with what you feel you are obligated to do. The time to live life as you want it is now. The time or season that you have been waiting for when you will finally make these changes is here; and you are the only one who can make them.
Lauren Barron is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist-Associate who specializes in serving engaged, newlywed, and married couples. Contact her today at (713)364-9748 to set up a free phone consultation or appointment.